Who am I?
My work and my life is about opening to the beyond. I feel subtle and fine energies and I can hear beyond my ears. What’s calling and what wants to unfold. What may not have a name, but is waiting for you in silence under the chaos or under the emptiness. And that’s how I will meet you. Deeply connected to my soul, heaven and earth, God, with an open heart and in a space where our thoughts and stories can become less important, where something happens that we cannot and do not need to rationally explain. Love.
Please make yourself comfortable, breathe and relax and pay attention to the words between the lines for the next chapters. Aloha 🙂
PS: Aloha is a Hawaiian Word for hello & bye and at the same time it means love, Spirit of love and literally translated: sharing breath.
My journey to myself and to Goddess began, like for many, with intense pain on a physical level, which kept me for a while from functioning “normally” and fundamentally changed and deepened my perspective on life. I was 16. Western medicine had decided to do surgery on my knee for me to be able to walk. They send me home after the surgery and I had the most intense pain I can imagine. The pain medicine made me nauseous and didn’t help and I got a fever, so we went to see the doctor who told me everything was normal, the fever might just be from a cold. He prescibed me a different drug which didn’t help either, so after two days of intense pain on the day of Christmas eve we went back to the doctor’s office who sent me to the hospital this time. They found a serious infection in my knee and said that I was lucky that they didn’t have to take my leg off. Apparently my bones did not do well with the metal screws and got infected from the surgery. When my parents came to visit in the hospital, my dad got a call – my aunt (his sister) had tried to commit suicide and her husband finding her died of a heart attack. Life seemed to be pretty painful! I felt pretty alone, my parents didn’t seem to understand me or know how to support me and nobody talked about my aunt, but there was a kind doctor who looked truly into my eyes and petted my hand. And that was what gave me hope! It was hard work to get my leg bending and functioning again, but I did it with a lot of training. Nevertheless the infection did not heal fully and nothing helped. Western medicine failed on healing me, and I found books that touched me, moved me and raised questions. It got me started to question everything and to look at things in a deeper way. From that time on I wondered what truly mattered, what I was here for, what I really wanted to do in this world, what I had to give and share and what my greatest wish was and I started to make choices in life from that deeper place of longing. I wanted to serve and I wanted to be happy.
At first I associated happiness with discovering something new, developping myself and with giving something and helping other people. When I found the courage to follow my inner calling to France and discovered a greater love and meaning in serving other people in need and found help to understand the pain inside of myself, the wound in my knee finally healed.
After two years of serving, I thought if I fully evolved and used my intellectual skills, that would make me happy.
In studying sciences at university, I felt inspired to explore and live my creativity and to follow my joy and I believed that I would become happy.
After dancing, playing theater and singing, I thought maybe I just had to find the right job that would fulfill me on all levels and explore, heal and free my soul and my emotions and my female body.
And if I worked on my love-relationship and changed it in a way that I would feel more being truly myself in the relationship, then I would be happy. I found a great job and received some deep shamanic, emotional and tantric healing, which motivated me to start looking into community living and to offer healing work. My job ended and I travelled together with my partner at that time to different communities to find our new home and work place. I was scared of all the conflict and chaos I experienced in the different communities. The only community I could imagine living in turnt out to be not available for us in the near future.
When we came back home, there was an oil accident in the appartment above ours, which made my partner and me homeless. It was winter and we stayed in a vacation rental for a few nights while trying to gather our belongings in a storage container and find a new home. My right arm started to hurt and swell and I ended up in hospital with a thrombosis. A friend of my longterm partner (from a different area in Germany) invited us to live with her and create community together and we followed the call. Her best friend and another couple and us started to meet for community week-ends sharing about our vision and legal ideas of buying or leasing land etc. We all had a strong connection and great dreams, but my partner fell in love with one of the other women and they decided that they wanted to explore their connection further.
I felt heart broken. It was the most difficult emotional pain I can imagine. I listened and I knew that this time it was time for me to leave. I packed my bags. When I asked spirit, where I should go, I heard a voice saying: Hawaii. I couldn’t explain it, but it sounded like Home.
It would be too long to share here what waited for me in Hawaii. Three months of magic and transformation and healing, but when I came back to Germany, I thought that I had found everything that I was looking for and followed my inner guidance more determined, but life was still challenging and I went back and forth between incredible magic and gratitude and emotional pain.
All phases in life that far had in common that looking back, they brought me enormous growth pains, development and always deep moments of happiness and fulfillment.
And I learnt so much!
But the feeling of happiness never stayed and I kept feeling this deep longing for meaning, for my life‘s purpose and for something that I couldn’t exactly define. I was seeking.
Even after being able to go back to Hawaii, finding my new soul partner there, getting married, living at the ocean and having a baby after an incredible blissful natural birth, I felt this deep pain that kept me from being fully happy. We separated.
But I trusted. I trusted that spirit was guiding me. And I learnt to pray in my own way. I prayed from the bottom of my heart and soul. Spirit brought me and all of us back to Germany.
I chose to allow myself to soften, to remember from the inside, to break the tough shells, to let go of old programs and overwrite them, and to explore the vastness and depth of divine mystery. Again and again.
Until one day I birthed myself into life.
Now I feel like I have come home in my body, heart & soul. I have found what I was looking for. I’m here. The seeking has stopped.
I am grateful and happy to be here. Whereever I am.
Life still has lots of turns and turmoils, but I can sit down and enjoy all of it.
What a journey.
I experienced what it means to let go off everything and start anew.
I learnt to be present in intense physical and emotional pain.
I got to know hospitals from inside and lots of natural and spiritual healing techniques and self-healing tools from my own experience.
I experienced phases of deep depression, grief, exhaustion, lack of orientation, burn-out.
I have worked on myself in various psychotherapies, creative and spiritual workshops and trainings. I faced myself, my weaknesses and strengths, my shadows and my light and my relationship with myself, with my parents, partners and other people. I looked in the mirror again and again, and I continue doing so by myself and with others, every moment anew.
I have learnt to allow intense feelings, to express them, to let them move through me and to listen to them and find my deeper needs.
I have worked in different social settings, got to know and to love all kinds of people, kids, teenagers and adults, including mentally disabled and ill, highly sensitive & highly gifted people, homeless people.
I have trained my mind and intellectual skills in studying Romance linguistics and literature, psychology and education and have a German master‘s degree.
I found my greatest joy and freedom in dancing, explored all kinds of different dance styles and feel at home in my body.
I have also explored my voice in depth in musical therapy, voice training, workshops and in nature and I deeply love toning and singing.
Although I was super scared of standing on stage and shy, I went to theater training and studied drama education where I discovered my joy of improvisation theatre and play.
I am trained in need-oriented, non-violent communication (with Marshall B. Rosenberg and Brita Schirmer) and worked on my communication for several years.
I learnt to love my femininity and explored different aspects of it – in tantric and shamanic trainings, where I experienced and learnt a lot about conscious touch, being present, chakra work, body work, trauma healing, relationships, sexuality, meditation and energy work.
I am trained in women‘s empowernment and spiritual healing for women (with Arweniel Hürlimann: The Art of female leadership).
I have freed & trained my high sensitivity, my intuition and my subtle & psychic gifts and learnt to love them.
I have a deep, intuitive connection to the earth and to the heavens, to the ocean and to the fire, to animals and plants, especially to trees and flowers, and to the spirit world.
I have connected with my female and male ancestors and they lovingly support me.
I followed the calling of my heart to meet and connect with the dolphins and whales in Hawaii and was blessed to experience transformation and healing with them and on the Hawaiian islands.
I have lived in different countries and cultures – East Germany, Zansibar/Tanzania, Germany, France and Hawaii/USA.
Together with my husband I created and shared shamanic sound healing sessions in group meditations, individual sessions and a CD on the Big Island of Hawaii using Gongs, tibetan and crystal bowls, drums, rattles, didgeridoo, voice and other sound instruments.
I have been blessed with a natural, ecstatic birth after preparing for it intensely and am now a mum to a 5 year old daughter.
I have studied and worked through various aspects of conscious and intuitive parenting (at university, as a social worker, as a teacher & babysitter and especially as a mum) and consider my daughter as a teacher that challenges me to the max.
I love my daughter – deeper and wider than I thought it was possible and I am learning with her and with my husband what love is.
I have worked intensely on the emotional and legal subject of custody conflicts and solutions and divorce/separation with children in two longer phases of separation with my husband.
My husband/ soul mate (and father of my daughter) and I after that connected in a deeper level and are now in a conscious, alive and challenging love-relationship again exploring our purpose together – healing.
I love meditation & energy work in the sense of being present in silence, listening, relaxing, beingness.
I work with my intuition channel and have birthed my soul fully into my body.
I have looked into the eyes of my core soul.
Kohu Na Tika is the bringer of the core information – universal divine love. That‘s my purpose. When I connect to the core information, I can overwrite old information and programs and have the core information flow into everything.
Kohu Na Tika is my spiritual name.
When I tune into Kohu Na Tika, I am fully here and present. I land on earth.
I allow myself to make mistakes.
I still loose connection sometimes, but I find back to center, to love a lot faster than before.
I am here for you right now. Whereever you are.
Right now I live and work and play on the island of Maui together with my husband and my daughter. And all the beautiful beings here.